8.3.13
What is wrong with me why can't I make any decisions for f's sake


  • fell asleep at the desk around 6 
  • woke up 2 hours later for school 
  • death was consuming me 
  • scared my dad because my eyes were deadset bloodshot before i left the house 
  • mum made 鲜肉月饼 (i think those are the characters for it? not sure about the first one) and i took one despite the fact that everything i eat these days makes me nauseous and plus she woke up really early in the morning to make these and i couldn't just stand there and cold heartedly say no 
  • attempted to eat it really slowly on the train, sensation of throwing up for the next two hours lol 
  • stayed in the library and made English notes despite having class 
  • couldn't breathe properly 
  • legit had to plan breathing in and out for quite a while 
  • pissed myself laughing during English, ehehe i just love the people around me in English 
  • (it's the only subject i look forward to these days)
  • napped after school, and i think i caught a cold? despite the fact that it was 26 degrees and i've mostly been sweating my ass off today 

You know what sucks?
I know how many medical issues the entire family (both mum and dad's side) have. I know they're all or most of them are hereditary. And it sucks when you're told you have symptoms for certain ones already. I'm not even stressing out anymore, I don't even care anymore. If I know it's going to happen, then I'm just going to let it be, BUT WHY ME. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME. AND FUCK WHY SO EARLY 


Tina ★

18 ' UNSW
今天天气晴,因为你只留给我背影,
所以在我眼里,下了一场大雨。